“Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” the musician joked as the audience erupted in laughter.

In her essay about the recent exposure of an affair on a Coldplay concert’s kiss cam, Ms. Schulman exhibits a common and troubling misunderstanding of the distinction between shame and humiliation.

The video, which showed the pair swaying to music at the concert before trying to hide, gained millions of views on social media.